Angry Karen (short story)

 The approximate wait time was 15 minutes and a staggered collection of humans were gathered beneath the angled overhang of the shaded front porch of the Cracker Barrel Country Restaurant. Families that had previously been cooped up inside their homes for several months were finally exercising their need to be set free. The sun was only 1/4 of the way up the sky and the outdoor thermometer already read 79 degrees. It was going to be another hot one down south. A young girl of about 11 tugged at her papa's trouser pocket.

"I don't wanna wear it. It's hot and my lips are sweaty," she claimed while pulling the mask away from her face and making fanning motions. The elastic string on one side got twisted in her hair and she grumbled while trying to free it.
"Stop messing with it and that won't happen," was papa's reply. "When we get inside we can take them off for breakfast, but for now, stop messing with it."
A mother six feet away was dealing with a similar situation with her little Alex. Alexander kept taking his mask off and using it as a makeshift slingshot to launch landscape gravel into the lawn. It was an M95 mask made by 3M and it had strong elastic bands that stretched proudly as though boasting its high quality design. Through sheer curiosity and boredom, Alexander discovered that the small square filter box woven into the mask made for excellent rock placement. Pinching a rock there and squeezing, he could launch gravel about three feet, which was plenty fine for him.
"ALEXANDER! I swear if you don't slap that mask back on your face in five seconds I will force feed you grits when we get in there and everyone will watch your cheeks turn purple," mom threatened. "I'm serious, drop the castle siege routine and put the mask back on."
Reluctantly, little Alex released the rock he was holding and slid the now dirty mask over his head and positioned it down past his upper lip so he could breathe. The little girl six feet away saw this and mimicked the move. Just then, the front door opened and two families exited the restaurant.
"Next two groups can come on in," exclaimed the outside door greeter as she pointed at them and held open the door.

Inside, the restaurant was half-filled with people excited to finally be out in public. Every other table was sectioned off with signs that read: TABLE CLOSED FOR SOCIAL DISTANCING. Looking around, the sweaty lipped girl noticed some people had removed their masks. She looked up at papa and he nodded to her as he took his mask off. She quickly did the same. Seated two tables away was the mother and her little rock tosser, both still wearing theirs.
"Papa, they're still wearing their masks," she noted while pointing.
"Don't point, dear. And it's fine. We can't very well eat our breakfast while wearing a mask, right?"
Pleased with his answer, she picked up her napkin and began shaping it into a flaccid looking swan with wings that would struggle keeping it aloft. She pulled on its tail and tried to get the wings to flap, but instead the whole thing came undone.
"Ugh," was all she mustered while her papa smiled pleasingly.
After ten minutes or so their food arrived and each plate was set down in front of them like individual battalions of war. The eggs and hashbrowns were the main forces, gunner troops ready to advance up the middle, while the biscuits and gravy and the bacon plates were perimeter support, tanks and artillery, etc. Papa reached over and took his daughter's hand in his, they bowed their heads and he whispered a quick little prayer of blessing.
"Okay, hun, dig in," he said with a smile. But she didn't need the instructions, she already had a slice of crunchy bacon in her mouth the second she unbowed her head.

At the next table, mommy and Alexander the Great were surveying their own food plates and were quite pleased with them. Eyeballing his mother's bowl of grits, Alex remarked, "Mom, that stuff is whole gross!" he exclaimed through his mask.
"You don't worry about my grits. They are a darn delight and maybe one day you'll see. Now hush up and eat, rocket boy," she teased while pulling the mask away from her face to take a bite. She let the mask snap back into position and continued chewing her food. Alex pulled his mask down and attempted to shove a fork load of potato casserole into his mouth, but the outer prong got hooked on his mask string and the casserole splattered onto his plate below.
"Son of a b..." he bagan to say but prematurely ended the thought. He looked up at the disapproving glare on his mother's face. "Sorry, mom, but this is the most annoying thing. Do we HAVE to wear them while eating? I mean, come on" he pleaded.
"Yessir, we are in public. We wear em, mister," was her reply. She pulled her mask away from her mouth and took a sip of her coffee. "Just slow your roll, button hole. You're too damn excited."
"Fine. Fiiiine," Alexander sighed while trying round two with the casserole. This time he managed to get the food around the mask and into his mouth without dropping it, but some of it fell into his mask and he had to shake it out. He could hear people giggling nearby.

Papa and daughter watched while the mom and son two tables away ate their entire breakfast while wearing their masks. Papa tried shushing his little girl when she giggled hard at the casserole scene that took place, but even papa couldn't help himself and let out a little laugh of his own, which gave his baby girl the green light to let out a little more. It was a good to be alive and out and about and feeling like a real human again. My goodness, how dearly they had missed it.
"Are you about done, honey?" papa asked. "We have to go pick up mama soon."
She nodded that she was and so he paid their waitress and they walked outside. As they neared their vehicle, papa could hear a women yelling "That's them, over there!" and he turned to see two cops being sent in his direction. He reached in, started the engine and the AC and told his daughter to get inside. Shutting the door, he turned to face the officers.
"What can I do ya for, gentlemen?" papa greeted them.
"Sir, we received a complaint that you and your daughter were not following proper COVID protocol and we are here to do a follow-up. If you would, sir, please pull up your contact tracing app and hit the SCAN NEARBY DEVICE link button," the officer ordered as he pulled his own smart phone out and activated the same app. Holding the phone uncomfortably close to the man's face, the officer snapped a picture.
"This is ridiculous, officer. Half the people in there weren't wearing masks," he replied.
"So you are acknowledging that you didn't follow public protocol?" Turning to his partner, the officer continued, "Sgt, note that, would ya?" The Sgt nodded and pulled out his smart phone and started typing. "Do you have the CT app opened yet, sir?" he asked impatiently.
"Yeh, yeh, it's open. What the heck do I do with it?"
"Nothing, just click SCAN NEARBY DEVICE."
He did as he was told and clicked it. The officer started scrolling through his own smart phone while relaying info over his shoulder to the officer standing behind him. After a few minutes, the officer put his phone away and instructed the man to do the same.
"Sir, later this evening you will receive a visit from a contact agent that we have assigned to you. He or she will be by your house and will inform you on what steps you will need to take next. From now on, sir, if you or anyone in your family leaves your home to go into public, you will need to authorize it via your case agent, is that clear?"
Inside the car, daughter could see that her papa was growing visibly agitated and she noticed the way his hands clenched up the same way they did when he caught neighbor Dean stealing from the tool shed again. She watched the muscles in his forearm flex and the vein on the side of his neck swell like a creek in spring. Worried, she opened the car door, raced over and grabbed onto his hand.
"It's okay, dear, everything is okay," he tried reassuring her. "These men are just doing their jobs and making sure everyone stays safe. Go ahead and get back in the car, I'll be right in with you."
"Okay, papa," she replied while handing him two extra masks they had in the glovebox. "Can they have our spare ones, papa? I want them to be safe too. I don't want nobody getting sick," she said before climbing back into the car. Papa turned back to the officers, handed them the masks and bid them both a good day.

Comments